"Life and Death" by Anthony Setari

This poem is hilarious! I really appreciated the conversational tone and the fact that humor is used to illustrate a situation that we've all lived through--that feeling that anything (even being hit by a bus) would be better than doing what it is we know we need to do. In this case, it's taking a test that the narrator is not at all prepared for. The poem takes us through a front-seat look at the workings of a panicked mind, one that thinks, "Oh why didn't I study?" One thing I love about this poem is the fact that, although it is written simply and in a very relaxed style, the writer still effectively uses literary devices to achieve his goal. One such example of this is the repitition of the line "hit by a bus" in the second stanza. The first time this phrase is used, it is simply a mundane fact, but the second time, the writer packs a punch: "bam, hit by a bus" (my italics). This is both attention-getting and humorous, so it works really well to keep the reader interested in what is going to happen to this character(/narrator). I also really like the energy in this piece. The last three lines of stanza three are great when it comes to energy. They are short and perfectly puntuated to express enthusiasm without being obnoxious (in the way that enthusiam can sometimes be).

I'd like to see a little bit of editing in a second draft. The first stanza on the second page is a little bit wordy and messy in general. Especially the part where the M.E. states his mind. I'm not sure how I feel about the last stanza. I both like it and want something different at the same time--although I'm not sure how I managed that. I think it's funny and ironic, but it's a little bit deux ex machina. Like, Oh! Lookie here! The narrator is gone. Dead. Even though he didn't actaully see a bus! Or hear one. But I don't know. Maybe it works for this particular poem. I don't know. I guess Anthony will have to make up his own mind on this one and just ignore all of us.