My Second Poem

Okay, this one is a lot more literal and easy to understand. I have titled it "Bananas" but I'm not sure I like that. I have also jokingly called it "Fruit of the Womb" which I think is hilarious, appropriate to the subject matter, but totally the wrong tone--unfortunately. Haha. Okay, here it is:

Bananas
by Erin E. Curley

How about a snack
She said twisting off the red lid
and laying it down,
upside down,
on the counter next to the coffee pot.
She pulled out a butter knife,
the little rose embossed
in the handle glinted
the light of the afternoon
sun gleaming.
Grab two bananas,
She said walking
with the knife and open jar
of peanut butter
to the old squeaky yellow couch.
We sat,
She and me, facing
each other
crossed-legged, peeling
bananas half-way.
One for you, one for me
She said sliding a scoop
onto mine then hers
and taking a bite.
We chewed slowly,
the lingering joy
of sweet salty smooth
bringing smiles
to our lips.
I know why you like these
She said dabbing another drag
through the jar on one
then the other.
We’ve shared it from the start
She said gleaming.

Okay, this is a "poem" that's kinda based on my mom. It's totally cheezy, but that's always my problem with poetry. I just can't write good poetry. I guess it's not really my thing. I am totally prepared to have this thing ripped to shreds during workshop, and I am okay with that. I actually do like some of the language, and how it sounds outloud. I was really careful with punctuation and little knit-picky things like capitalization. I also tried to have it sound like poetry--I tried to use a lot of aliteration to give the poem a specific pace. My problem is content. How do you write something that doesn't sound like a seventh grader wrote it???? I guess I will get some help.