I like this poem. I think it’s a wonderful image—one that I can see quite clearly. Sister in the hallway, wearing a hideously ugly brown suit, and dancing like Justin Timberlake, while the rest of the family (except for the narrator) is oblivious to these shenanigans (oh yeah, I said shenanigans!). I think the author makes her purpose quite clear with the theme spelled out in the concluding stanza: “And I think to myself, how lucky I am, / to have her as my sister.” Garlow paints us a picture, then explains why it is important. We know exactly what to think, and we know exactly what the author wants to tell her.
One thing I really like is the casual tone of the poem. I really feel what it’s like to be standing there with the narrator, watching her sister dance. One thing I want to know (that I only just realized that, after writing the previous sentence) is where exactly the narrator is located. I kinda want to know if she is sitting with the rest of her family, and she can just see where her sister is, or if she is actually standing in the hallway, too. This detail would just help to add to the scene and really bring us into the action of the poem. I personally am not fond of the term “poo-brown,” not that I find it offensive, but maybe even a little bit too immature. I think even “shit-brown” would be an improvement, but I realize that this is a detail that helps us get to know the narrator, and if that’s what she thinks then maybe that’s what should stay. I also wonder if it is necessary to have the theme of the poem explicitly spelled out. Maybe just leaving us with the details of this moment would be enough for us to pick up on. Just an idea… Oh! And now that I’ve read the poem, I love the title!
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