T.J. McLeod's "A Day in the Life"

In this creative nonfiction essay, T.J. gives us a glimpse of the first day of school, his senior year. He uses a good mix of exposition and scene to make the reader feel as if she is looking in on reality. One of my absolute favorite aspects of this essay is the voice that is carried throughout. It's so natural. There were a few lines in here specifically which made me think that this is an effective voice. One of these lines was in the introductory paragraph: "I remember daydreaming...walking off the stage, strait into my mother's Maxima." I thought this was hilarious. I also enjoyed a line a few paragraphs down on the first page: "every classroom made me feel like I was in the clearance section at Foot Locker." Sentences like these make the tone of the piece very comfortable and conversational.

There are lots of tense changes in this piece. I guess one could think that they add to the converational tone of the piece, since we often do this when we are talking. "I said to her, then I'm like, and she said," and so on and so forth. However, some readers may not appreciate this trait in the essay. There are just a few little places where I would like to see different wording. For one thing, Tasha's smile is described as "gentle, [and] warming" twice. This is exactly the same phrase and althought I like the imagery it brings, I would life to see something different instead. Another issue I had (which was also minor) is that there seemed to be an inconsistancy with when literature class takes place. At the beginning of the essay, the narrator remembers "daydreaming in my first period Literature class." He then goes to "Home economics," where he meets Tasha. After this, the narrator explains: "During my literature class all I was able to think about was Tasha." So, either he has two lit classes, or there is an oversight in the text. This should be fixed for credibility. Otherwise, I really like this essay!!!